I'm not the type of guy who enjoys one-night stands. It leaves me feeling very empty and cynical. It's not even fun sexually. I need to feel something for the woman and entertain the vain hope that it may lead to a relationship.
On the day he had colonic irrigation: 'I feel I lost my virginity that day in so many ways.'
There's something really great and romantic about being poor and sleeping on couches.
There is nothing worse that a thirteen-year-old boy. You're embarrassed by your parents, and you're trying to find your independance because, deep inside, you are so dependent on your mom.
Rumors about me? Calista Flockhart, Pam Anderson, and Matt Damon. That's who I'm dating.
Yes, I'm going to be the President of the United States. You know why? You think you can get chicks by being in the movies? You can really get chicks by being the President.
Well I've never used that phrase before, but yes she is bootylicious.
If I ever woke up with a dead hooker in my hotel room, Matt would be the first person I'd call.