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Author Info:

Type: Director
Nationality: American
Date of Birth: 12/01/1935




 

Woody Allen Quotes

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It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
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Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.
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I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
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If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing something right.
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Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words.
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Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
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My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by a quaker.
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Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
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Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
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Life is divided up into the horrible and the miserable.
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I don't have to 'freedom-kiss' my wife when what I really want to do is French-kiss her.
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I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.
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I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.
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Tradition is the illusion of permanance.
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Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats.
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I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
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The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.
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On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down .
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Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.
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In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.
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The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't have.
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Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
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Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies.
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Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.
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Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
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