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Type: Author
Nationality: American
Date of Birth: 11/30/1835




 

Mark Twain Quotes

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A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.
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It is easier to stay out than get out.
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Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.
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The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right.
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The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes.
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Let us make a special effort to stop communicating with each other, so we can have some conversation.
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I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
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A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read.
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Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it.
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Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.
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What, sir, would the people of the earth be without woman? They would be scarce, sir, almighty scarce.
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Such is the human race, often it seems a pity that Noah... didn't miss the boat.
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The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little.
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Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough.
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Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone, you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.
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There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, and finish the farce.
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Never put off till to-morrow what you can do day after to-morrow just as well.
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But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?
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Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today.
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Man was made at the end of the week's work when God was tired.
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Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.
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Substitute "damn" every time you're inclined to write "very"; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.
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I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
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You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
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Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.
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