There are several good protections against temptation, but the surest is cowardice.
Buy land, they're not making it anymore.
My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.
Ideally a book would have no order to it, and the reader would have to discover his own.
The public is the only critic whose opinion is worth anything at all.
Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.
Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing wrong with this, except that it ain't so.
It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.
Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
The more things are forbidden, the more popular they become.
I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.
Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.
Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.
A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.
There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one - keep from telling their happiness to the unhappy.
The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.
Truth is the most valuable thing we have. Let us economize it.
Don't tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish.
A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.
Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered - either by themselves or by others.
Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
Golf is a good walk spoiled.
Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation.
The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.