And on the highest throne in the world, we still sit only on our own bottom.
Man may be considered as a superior species of animal that produces philosophies and poems in about the same way a silkworm produces their cocoons and bees their hives
I guess when you turn off the main road, you have to be prepared to see some funny houses.
It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious.
It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.
Whatever is funny is subversive, every joke is ultimately a custard pie... a dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion.
No, this trick won't work... How on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love?
People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing.
The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.
People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant.
The greater part of the world's troubles are due to questions of grammar.
I quote others only to better express myself.
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe.
Comedy is ridiculously hard. And if the rhythm is not right, if the music or the line is not right, it's not funny.
I am odd-looking. I sometimes think I look like a funny Muppet.
Whoever will be cured of ignorance, let him confess it.
It's fun to be hopelessly in love. It's dangerous, but it's fun.
It's a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it.
I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.
I love acting, but it's much more fun taking the kids to the zoo.
That's my main flaw: I always think authority figures or my boss is going to think something I do is funny. And usually they don't.
I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior.
The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds the most discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' (I found it!) but 'That's funny.'
My life has been full of terrible misfortunes, most of which never happened.
Memories are doing funny things to us.